Jeremy was a sloth. Like most sloths, he was an absolutely useless andpathetic buffoon.He never did anything worthwhile, all he did was sleep and eat.Sometimes simultaneously.Jeremy, however, was discontented with his miserable life.One day, while he was absentmindedly getting very fat, he decided toactually do something. This, you must understand, was a revolutionaryidea amongst sloths, who were accustomed to the monotonous routineof their lives.Eat, sleep. Eat, sleep. Die.This was the way of the sloth.Archaeologists have discovered evidence that once, long ago, the slothwas a truly majestic beast - enormous and powerful.Over the millennia, however, evolution carried out a cruel anddenigrating joke on sloth-kind.They grew lazier and lazier, fatter and fatter, and there was no end totheir subjugation under the more competent members of the naturalorder.Jeremy, that sunny afternoon, channeled the great memory of hisancestors, through he, of course, had no memory to remember themwith.He was a stupid, miserable fool.But he was about to do something that would leave the world in shock.Something that would shift the paradigm of things so drastically thatthe jungle would never be the same.Jeremy decided to go for a walk.It was a horrible thing to watch. His morbidly obese frame, gradually,with much groaning and gnashing of teeth, sat up.He tried, all but in vain, to bring his flabby body up into a standingposition. This was the most adventurous thing he'd ever done.After several hours, he had ALMOST succeeded in raising his body thenecessary four and a half inches.Then, he fell into a deep slumber, the utter emptiness of his mindinterrupted only by the sort of primitive, stupid dreams that a primitive,stupid creature can dream.Jeremy dreamed of McDonalds. Jeremy dreamed, like a dragon, of vastpiles of donuts, hamburgers, and unvaried mountains of butter.Jeremy smiled his idiotic smile, his beady little eyes twinkling with asad, sad happiness.Three days later, Jeremy awoke.His dream had slowly shifted into a nightmare, a process, that, due tothe extreme slothfulness of his sloth thoughts, had taken literally over aday.The mountains of butter had melted away, and Jeremy was too fat tochase them, even with their glacial speed.Jeremy had screamed his slow-motion scream, a guttural cry of pureanguish unlike anything ever heard by human ears.He felt fatter than he had ever felt in his life.His ancestors had dreamed of conquering the world, of becoming greatand mighty kings, of sailing the vast, unknowable seas.Jeremy's dreams were absolutely pitiful in comparison.Again, Jeremy began the majestic effort to bring the three hundredpounds of his two-foot tall body to an upright position.As he groaned, sweaty with the miserable exhaustion that suchvigorous exercise drenched his feeble frame with, he had a thought.This was rare. Jeremy's thought had meandered through the utterly empty caverns ofhis wrinkled brain for years.It was just now emerging."Hamburgers," Jeremey thought.This was a good idea.