(888)-245-5618
Bill Cipher will assist you in a moment. But rst are you in pain? Press 1 for “yes, I am in pain” and 2 for
“no, I am not in pain”
You know, I had a life once. I had a wife and kids. I can’t remember them now. I am stuck in this endless
phone tree repeating numbers 1 through 7 over and over again. I have sold my soul and I am paying my
cosmic debt to the unsiverse. Press 1 to end my misery. Press 2 to go back to the main menu.
“AHH HAhAhhaHahHahHaaahHhahahahaahahaaAAAHAHAAAHhaa! That’ll be $9.99!”
After having Bill Cipher laugh at your pain, you realize that pain is just a cosmic, cruel joke that the
universe plays against you. It’s a miracle we experience sentience at all! And that’s why you should
purchase the Book Of Bill! It may not stop you from having pain, but you can give that pain to everyone else
and you, you’ll be the one having the last laugh!