Shower Thoughts To Keep U Up At Night 😤👁️👄👁️🫵😭🥲
Peeing in ur dream and peeing ur self irl is a dream come true•
Working out sucks but the results are awesome, & being lazy is awesome but the results•
suck
If someone accuses u of being argumentative, there’s no way to defend ur self•
A parking ticket is a speeding ticket for going 0 mph where it isn’t allowed•
Checking ur phone repeatedly when I have no friends is like opening the fridge many•
times expecting there to be new food
Locking your car door twice is the adult version of saving ur game twice•
Finishing a show you binge watched is equally as sad as it is satisfying•
Knowing you have the next day off is more relieving than the actual day off•
People in movies almost never adjust the drivers seat in a newly purchased or stolen car•
The Scarlet With & Fision from marvel is a love story abt a woman and her super•
advanced vibrator 😂 😭 💀
The syllables in “on your mark, get set, go!” are a countdown•
The Guinness Book of World Records probably holds the record for most records•
recorded
The internet is the only place where a 10 yr old and a 50 yr old can equally argue•
Watching people come through arrival gates at an airport is like watching a random•
person generator
Even when a ballon is half inflated, it is completely full•
It won’t be long before ppl is the ‘20s, the 30’s, and the ‘40s to describe the 2020s, the•
2030s, & the 2040s
Does a straw have one hole or two?•
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are doing right now•
At one point in your life, you were exactly pi(3.141592653589 etc etc) yrs old•
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn’t that also make him the worlds worsts spy•
How do out brains remember that we forgot something, but we can’t ew,ember what that•
thing was?
Peer pressure as an adult is seeing your neighbor mow their lawn•
Your first birthday is actually your second birthday p•
Bean bags are boneless sofas•
If they mounted garbage trucks with cameras, you could update Google Maps street view•
every week
Math is the only place where someone could buy 60 watermelons & 40 cantaloupes and•
no one would ask any questions
Someone’s mom probably used you as a bad example for her kids•
If the earth was flat, the edge would probably be a popular tourist attraction•
Only one sock goes missing because if both did, you wouldn’t notice•
Theme parks can snap a crystal clear picture of you on a roller coaster at 70 mph, but•
bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a robber standing still
Batman would look funny trying to solve crimes outside on a sunny day•
Once you have a Ph.D., every meeting you go to becomes a doctor’s appointment•
Pregnant women are the only true bodybuilders•
Searching for a new laptop online is basically forcing your current computer to dig its•
own grave
Maybe urinals were invented when a tall guy walked by the sinks and asked, "Why not?"•
Watching a graduation ceremony is like sitting through a movie that's entirely end credits•
Teenagers drive like they're on borrowed time. Meanwhile, elderly people drive like•
they've got all the time in the world
Making a typo in an online argument is the equivalent of voice cracking in a verbal•
argument
Social anxiety is basically conspiracy theories about yourself•
Every broken clock tells you the exact time it passed away•
Most people pull their phones out of their pockets to check the time. We are reverting to•
the era of pocket watches
When you give someone food, you're feeding them. But when you give them water, you•
aren't watering them
We'll never really know what it smells like underwater•
The sinking of the Titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen•
The people who need to be loved the most are often very hard to love•
Someone out there vividly remembers something you said that you have completely•
forgotten
It’s likely that over 99% of the trees that you look at will be still here when you’re dead•
Having a toddler in their "Why?" phase makes you realize how much you know and don't•
know about things
Every word in every language started out as gibberish until one person convinced enough•
people that what they said was a real word
There are half a million different occupations in the world, yet we pick our careers based•
on studying 10-15 subjects by age 18-21
You may have once made a decision that saved your life without knowing it•
Kids are bullied for being different while adults are praised for being different•
If money is at the root of all evil, then why do churches ask for it?•
People cover their laptop cameras for fear of hackers, but never their phone cameras•
Therapists talk you into brainwashing yourself•
We talk about Ancient Romans like they were basically all the same, but the civilization•
lasted almost 1000 years. That’s like saying people in 2023 and 1023 are basically the
same
On any given day in a hospital, you can find people having the best day of their life, the•
worst day of their life, the first day of their life, and the last day of their life all under
one roof
Someone studying atoms is just a bunch of atoms trying to understand themselves•
Every single human in history has witnessed the same sun and moon as you have•
How do nudists clean their glasses?•
Firefly is ten opposite of waterfall•
Being an air conditioning repair person must be hard because it's hot when you arrive•
and as soon as it's cooled down, you leave
Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even•
with decades of experience
Alcohol is a depressant, but clubs and bars are designed for people to be lively and•
energetic
Security at every level of the airport is high, until you get to baggage claim•
All of the caution messages on various products were likely put there because someone•
tried them out
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